Want to get in shape? Is the gym too expensive? I’ve got the solution! On behalf of all nannies everywhere, I offer you the thirty-minute complete cardiovascular workout, courtesy of 19-month-old Piglet!
Occasionally, in addition to my part-time job, I get to hang out with Piglet and Professor after-hours and nanny like a typical babysitter would, at night. It’s a nice way for me to relax with them without having to think about learning abilities and activities to keep them occupied. We throw on their favourite show (Curious George) after a bath and pjs, and they both sit, sipping on warm milk (well, Piglet does – Professor mostly begs me for another granola bar) until the sleepies kick in. I really enjoy my nighttime routine with them, and on this particular Saturday, the growing warm weather kicked both Piglet and I outside for a little park time.
Now, typical ideas of a nanny at a park might include the nanny sitting demurely on a bench while the kids run wild. Let me tell you – a good nanny never sits. If she isn’t playing and directly interacting with those kids, then she’s not doing her job right. Nannying is a full-body experience, and this is where I get most of my exercise. I’ve already lost five pounds running after the kids, and it’s effortless (to a degree)!
First: Piglet charges towards the most dangerous part of the park: the big-kid climber. I scramble after her, stretching my hamstrings and loosening my muscles as I cover ground to get to the climber before she does.
Secondly: She’s not going to give up. She starts to climb and whine at me to lift her over the tires comprising steps up to the first level. I give in and heft 30+ lbs of toddler up and over humongous tractor tires. One, two, three, feel that burn in your shoulders!
Thirdly: Well, you can’t just leave her up there. Up I go. Swing that leg high and over the tires, missy! Use that upper-body strength to pull yourself under the bar! Come on, no dawdling, she’s already heading towards the impossibly-high (for her) red tube slide! Run, run!
Fourthly: Grab her just before she reaches the slide. Now, take a short break to implement a Teachable Moment(TM): Nanny goes first, Piglet sits on nanny’s lap, and wheeeeeeee! Down the slide we go – oh, no, watch for the puddle at the bottom – no, no, it’s too late – oh! SPLASH! You wore the wrong shoes today, girl! Your pink ballet flats that Professor loves so much are spattered in mud!
Fifthly: Never mind. She’s already running towards the swings. After her – feel that heart rate go up!
Sixthly: Here’s your weight routine. Lift toddler into the swing. Lift toddler out of the swing five seconds later because this isn’t the one she wants to sit in. Detangle toddler’s chubby little legs from the leg holes while a group of amused yummy mummies watch and Piglet wails. Place toddler on the ground. Lift toddler into the next swing. Repeat ten times.
Seventhly(?): Chase toddler from the swings back to the massive climber. Redirect – yes, got that one – to the teeter-totter. Spend the next few minutes working those shoulder muscles and bounce her up and down! Up! Down! Up! Down! She’ll encouragingly shout “Up! Down!” at you to keep you on track.
Finally: It’s time to go home for some much-needed dinner and rest. Herd toddler towards the stroller and spend the next fifteen minutes pushing her at top speed across busy streets of Toronto while she crows, “Car! Car!”
Great job, girl! Meet you at the park tomorrow for your next workout!