Cultural Appropriations · General Ramblings

Hey Lady, You Don’t Have To Smile

Some of us are prettier when we don’t smile.

As women, we are told:

  1. Be perfect, always. Perfectly dressed. Perfectly made up. Perfectly intelligent, clean, thin, beautiful, polite. Perfectly perfect.
  2. Always remember to be a lady. A lady, you know, is someone who is all of number 1.
  3. Never speak too loudly. Never draw attention.
  4. Find a career that you can grow in. Don’t make waves.
  5. Have babies. Raise them yourself. Don’t depend on other people to do that for you – especially other women.
  6. Think what society tells you to think.
  7. You’ll never go far unless you can act like a man.
  8. Don’t be hysterical. Yes, passion means hysteria.
  9. Keep your interests under wraps, unless they’re mainstream.
  10. Smile.

Here’s what I’ve learned as a woman:

  1. Perfection is only perfect until something cracks it right down the middle. Don’t bother striving for perfection. Instead, strive for genuine honesty.
  2. Fuck being a lady. Be a person your children would be proud to know. Be someone who makes history.
  3. Scream if you have to. Be impolite. Tell them what you think and be ready to defend it to the death. It’s your right.
  4. Find a career that pays the bills – and chase your dreams while you work. Never give up. Don’t take bullshit. Strive for the best. Follow your bliss.
  5. Have children if you want. Don’t if you don’t. You’re not needed to be a mother unless you want to be.
  6. Think outside the box. Come up with ideas no one’s thought of. Show everyone how awesome your mind is. Fuck society.
  7. Let’s strive to change the definition of what a woman means. Women are strong. Women are bloody. Women bear pain. And that alone makes us willing to go the extra mile for anything worthwhile.
  8. Be hysterical if you want to. Don’t let anyone tell you your thoughts are too emotional. The best stories are born of emotion. The changes in history were born from passion.
  9. Blossom and learn. Be an engineer. Be a basketweaver. You live in a society where you can do anything. There are no limits!
  10. Smile if you’ve got something to smile about. You’re not required to smile for anyone unless they deserve it.

I’m a hell of a lot prettier when I don’t smile. My thoughts, my interests, my dreams, my womanhood, make me beautiful. No one is special, because we all are. No one owes anyone a damn thing.

Because some of us are prettier when we don’t smile – because we know we don’t have to in order to be worth something in this world.

My latest favourite Instagram selfie.
My latest favourite Instagram selfie.

8 thoughts on “Hey Lady, You Don’t Have To Smile

  1. Hi Liz,

    I really admire your independent and engaging voice. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing such great advice and stories on your blog! You’ve done a great job listing a women’s insecurity.

    I’ve taken a look through your website and we think you’ve done a fantastic job in covering topics that our brand’s female audience would be interested in reading. It would be great if you could join our community to feature your blog entries.

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